“Are you married?”That question seems to be popping up everywhere! Even when the question is asked the responses are even more wild.

A man and a woman are talking even flirting at the office. The woman asks the question ” Are you married?” The man replies in sorrow as his head turns down to the floor and in a deep sorrow voice he mutters the word “yes”. The woman continues to flirt and talk with him like the words that came out of his mouth were not even acknowledged. This of course leads  to more talking, more flirting, and eventually an affair.

So the question “Are you married?” Does it really matter to certain people even when the married person responds “yes” won’t they just go after the married person anyway? Won’t they test that boundary? Where is the commitment for that married person? Is ” I’m just not happy or in love with my spouse anymore” a justified reason to become uncommitted and unfaithful?

My heart begins to grieve when I hear of married couples not defending their marriage. Husbands know their job is to protect, that includes marriage. Protect your marriage.  Wives know it is their job to protect their children, Protect your marriage too. Invaders are everywhere! If they weren’t, you wouldn’t hear about affairs over and over again. All affairs do, is break up, tear apart, destroy, kill,and steal. I have never found anything good that came out of an affair.

Temptation is there. It will always be there. Master it. The best way is to RUN!!!!! When Joseph was being tempted by sexual desires with a married woman  he RAN!  A woman walks in the office  dresses immodesty, with a low cut top, or mini skirt, high heels and she flirts with a married man what should he do? RUN the other way. Stay Away! A woman or man flirts with a married person,  The Married person should Run away!

Always tell your spouse. Without telling them, you a putting yourself in a situation of lying and sneaking. Do yourself the favor tell your spouse. Even if you are having trouble with the temptation. Tell your spouse. Even if you had an affair, tell your spouse. Not telling them is hurting them. What they don’t know, will hurt them cause they will find out Only it wont be by you, which will hurt them worse.Telling them is honesty and that is the best policy.

When you are at the moment of falling for the trap of an affair,because you chose not to run from the temptation.  At first it seems exciting, the sneaking, the fantasy your mind plays out of it. It’s new, new can be exciting.  In your mind you may think,  there is justification when there is “no happiness in the home. “or  “If only my spouse would dress, or act this way. I wouldn’t go out seeking it elsewhere. I am justified.”  Then the fights come in, between the spouses. ( Usually caused by the one having the affair)Now the fight got so ” out of control” so the spouse leaves in justifying the affair.

Now the other person who has a role in this affair feels superior.  “I can meet this person’s needs while their spouse couldn’t. I am too, justified.”

The reality is no one is justified.The people involved in this affair are wrong.There is no justifying a mere sinful thought into sinful actions without their being consequences. and let me tell you, the consequences are not just the people involved it’s the spouse and if their are children involved they too are effected. So yes this “drama fantasy” effects everyone. This ” drama fantasy” will blow up in your face. To excuse it, as “your spouse is to blame,” is really only being a coward  by not taking responsibilities for their ( the person having the affair) part in the marriage. To say that one spouse “wasn’t happy anymore”or “fell out of love,”is again a cowardly response to bring some justification to a thought and sinful action. If one spouse ” fell out of love” I would question this. Love is a choice not a feeling, you don’t fall in or out of it. Do you even know what Love is? There is help  offered for any other excuse one spouse would bring up to justify there reasoning of having an affair.

To the one who is playing a role in this affair to feel superior. I would say you may think you too, are justified but you aren’t. Why wouldn’t you leave a married person alone? You think you are satisfying this person? If this person could not even tell their spouse the truth and what was lacking in the relationship what honestly makes you think this person will tell you? If the person isn’t committed to their marriage because of people like you, what makes you think their wont be another intruder? Did you think you were the only intruder? An intruder in marriage is NOT justified.  If anything the intruder knew the person was married and they still kept going after the married person. That is what makes them intruders. Honestly my heart goes out to the intruders, they often have a very poor image of themselves. Otherwise they would go after single people and leave married people alone.

But to the married people, like in the beginning of this story this man looked to the floor and replied to the woman in a deep and sorrow voice “yes.” Really? He should have said ” Yes I am married!” He should have been showing off his ring, allowing her to know I wont cheat on my spouse. He should have been protecting his marriage.

If there are problems in your marriage, know you are not alone! But it doesn’t give you the excuse to cheat.  Marriage wasn’t to make us happy, but holy. Marriage is one man, one woman. That’s the way it has been since the beginning of time. Marriage is to serve the other. Not as a dominate thing, but as a humble servant on both parties. One is to be the bride and the other the bridegroom. No where was marriage created by man! As you can see in the statuses what man has created when God isn’t in the center of it. Divorce rates are sky high, and affairs are common.

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I don’t hate you just because I don’t agree with you. I’m not judging or condemning you when I have a different view from yours. I don’t think negative thoughts on you or are am fearful of you just because I disagree.

Handling different views or disagreeing with someone takes a lot of maturity on both parts to accept the disagreements but not hinder the relationship.

My child had a “Day of Silence” to participate in anti bullying against gay people. after much prayer, and much discernment , I told my son he would not be going. When I  emailed the teacher to let her know my decision her response was “I understand.” Although she went on to encourage Kyle to go to school, she understood. What favor our family had by God.

I don’t hate gay people. I believe a lot of Christians do not hate gay people. We love them.  We offer hope for recovery. We offer our hearts. We just don’t accept their choice of lifestyle. And yes it is a choice! I could go ahead with bible scriptures and why I don’t agree with their lifestyle. But many of the gays already know the scriptures cause they were confronted with it by signs, or other people harshness in the scripture.  They don’t want to hear it, and they twist it, frankly why do I need to defend my position? I don’t. I said I am a Christian, and by that I read and obey scripture.

God loves everyone. But not everyone loves God. So I understand when people don’t see views the way I do. If I invited a gay to church they would decline and scripture tells us why. when i was living in my sin i wouldn’t step foot in a church and again scripture tells me why. So I understand. Even God himself is patient with me when I don’t see things the way He does. He understands.

Just as God took sin seriously I do too. I know His judgement is real. Again scripture tells us. So when  I tell someone I don’t agree with you, it’s because I would be held accountable and I would be judged to say otherwise. You will be judged for what you say and do, and so will I.   God doesn’t have favorites. I want to be judged righteously for what Jesus did for my sin.

My heart goes out to people who think Christians judge and condemn, ( by name only not getting to know the Christian as a person)  I really don’t hate you. I love you. I love you  because scripture tells me what Love is.

I recently experienced my husband getting laid off from his job. I am a stay at home mom so he is the only income coming in. So without his income we don’t have any.  Before he called me to tell me the “bad” news  i was praying not so much that God would save his job, but that I was in align with God’s Will. When my husband called and  told me “yep I got laid off.” I was crying. I kept saying ” I’m choosing to trust you God.”  A few moments later i wanted to wrap my mind around this, and then I would cry, because it was a loss.
Trusting God isn’t always easy. but thats where faith comes in. It doesn’t mean that your emotions should be ignored. God loves it when we cry or talk with him. He wants to hear our struggles.
Sometimes Christians have the mentality of ” give it to God.” when they say that, it is received as ” ignore your feelings that God gave you, cause they really don’t matter anyhow.” when the truth is they do matter to God. How can anyone give anything to God without confessing what they are feeling? How can anyone trust God when the uncertainty is all around you. The unknown can drive you crazy, question of what, where, when, have all popped in my mind .

I had my 15 minute melt down on the same day I came home from church that night. The ironic thing is of it all is God provided in 2 different ways in 2 different situations. That same night! He really let me know who He is. I never doubted him, I just needed to be real with him as he revealed how real He is to me. My melt down consisted of God providing these situations so I was already crying in thankfulness, and hat led me to look at my youngest son who was sleeping as I held onto his tiny hands, and looked at his youthful face,I cried and said ” are you not the God who sees?” Do you not see that I have a family, and will you not provide?” tears rolled down my face, sobbing but yet confessing all of fears, all of my anxious thoughts and feelings all of me confessing to God, and then allowing Him to take over.

After my sobbing was done, I willingly accepted the loss that was in this, it still hurt but I knew who was in control of my pain.The reoccurring thoughts of grief were still in my mind and emotion at this time it was 2:00 a.m. I needed to again exercise that part out to God. I got up confessed again to God my feelings, and I opened my bible, I prayed and talked with God. Time wasted? NO Way! I went back to bed having God’s peace all around me. I had his promises to hold on to. Proverbs 3:10 and Malachi 3:10. And I fell asleep with such a peace and rest in God, I was blessed I spent an hour with my heavenly father that I will be able to have that for eternity.

When I got up I was fully rested,I felt like I could conquer the world. It doesn’t matter how many hours of sleep I got, even if we get 7-8 we can still more tired than ever before. But I  got 4-5 I felt wonderful! Because I had God’s rest not my own. With God I can do all things with Him who gives me strength.
I’m not worried about what may happen,It is God who is in control and the sooner I realize that the better off I will be. He closed this door so another one can open and blessings that only my heavenly Father could give. No human being could even compare. I know that God gives, and takes away. He had every right to do this because He is love and he wants the vey best for me and my family.

So how do you trust God? First and foremost  get to know God. If you don’t know God, how could you trust him? How could you trust someone you don’t know? Would you trust a stranger? Get to know God. Read the book of Psalms. David wrote a lot of God’s character in that book.  When circumstances come your way, don’t  think the emotions won’t follow. They will. Be in thanksgiving. Again the book of Psalms is a great book cause David was put in a lot of opposition.

Even Paul in the new testament.” Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Phillipians 4:6) so here Paul is talking about not to worry. Jesus said it doesn’t add a single hour to your life. If anything I believe it takes away. And the enemy is here to steal that hour by worrying. So like what Paul said not to worry so what do we do? Let’s continue to read ” but in everything by prayer and petition” so in ALL circumstances, ,  we are to bring our All  to God. That means our emotions, our thoughts, our All, we are to bring them to God by praying and petition. What’s petition? A petition is a request made for something desired especially a humble and respectful request as to a superior or one with authority.

Let’s continue reading ” with thanksgiving, present your request to God.” not a lot of people like to hear this but yes in All circumstances good and bad be in thanksgiving. Why thanksgiving? Because God made you and he knows we get so hung over on the negative thoughts, God knows it consumes us, and we are driven further away from him and our focus is on our circumstance not Jesus.  If  we bring all of who we are and our circumstances to God in thanksgiving our mind starts to shift from negative circumstance to trusting God for a better outcome in our circumstance. We can find joy in the midst of our trials. We can actually experience that annoying bible verse, and find it exciting instead of annoying. Our circumstances won’t change but our thinking and focus will. And so will our outcome!

Did I thank God for closing the door on my husband’s job? Yes I did! I know what would happen if I didn’t. I would think on the negative, I would even take the layoff like the world does. ” it’s no big deal, everyone is getting laid off” or ” I guess unemployment will be your life.” I wouldn’t accept that. I told God that! I wouldn’t accept the world’s view. I know who my God is, and he promised me to prosper me, give me hope and a future.” he promised me “an overflow of blessing.”  and I’m suppose to settle? I can’t. Knowing who my God is, I can’t settle.

So at this point this verse means to acknowledge God for who He is. If you know who he is you won’t have to worry, you would know he is in control and not you, you have brought your circumstance in prayer and petition to God with thanksgiving. So your mind is off of you and your circumstance and on God and who He is. ( you are in a good place if you are here) now you are ready to present your request to God.  3 words to that meaning. Ask. seek. knock. Most importantly, always go to God with a humble and genuine heart. He doesn’t want your pride, he wants you the way he first made you, humble, in need of Him always. He longs to have a relationship with you, that’s why he gave us Jesus. So that through him we could have an everlasting relationship.